sab maya hai !!!!

2009-01-25T12:16:00.005+01:00

Ageing , slow poison for eternity !!!

Clock is like a time bomb that is ticking over eternity. Some body said 'You cannot kill time without injuring eternity'. How true !!

How you normally know that you have lost lot of time and only little time left ?? I used to go through this tumultous expreience when I write my Engineering exams, or during my b'days when i will suddenly realizethat I am one year older...during new year ...a time when you sit back and think that what the **** have i done in last one year....most of the times ..from my personal experience the stark realisation is not that enchanting..noramlly you feel that you haven't utilized the time as it was supposed to be utilized...well that feeling is intricately woven to the genetic setup of the human beings..the feeling that it is not enough...in english the word used is greed !!! But to be frank and whether you like it or not, good time or bad time , that is the only time that you have got !!!

Well,some time the feeling is authentic.... damn man...you did nothing last year..atleast couple of times i had the same feeling in my entire life...but ya.. i feel it is ok as the feeling is quite frequent...last year was good for me i guess ., even though I didn't completely achieved all those things that i planned for, I atleast tried to give it all a 'try'...not bad !!

But one thing I did noticed that I have missed, is the fact that I haven't published any thing in my blog for last one year..well I did write and saved it in the oblivion of the bloggers unpublished repository..I didn't published any of them... one obvious reason is the absence of the person that used to push me to write and publish....well...some one I accidently bumped up aganist in the electronic jungle of internet and who went away some where with out leaving a trace... :-)..... ya it was told to me that it will happen some days ... i was aware ...still !!!

The place from where I come from ..there is a common adage and it goes like this '' migrating birds neither sow nor reap....they are just guests for few days'' well true, they are guests for few days and after which they just disappear in to the wide horizons and move with the sun...very true...but they always leave back some feathers that they shed during the days they have stayed back as guest...and some people preserve those feathers as a momento for those wonderful days, with a silent prayer in the corner of the heart...'' my friend..where ever you go..may the god bless you... !!!''

2008-01-15T04:23:00.003+01:00

lies,big lies and statastics !!!!!!!

Ya,, some one said so and it is so true my dear...what you think ?? be it in your work place , your personal space or your relations... statistics always play a big and heinous role...the role of a bargainer/negotiator and now n then a big time destructor.....the very core nature of people to note down the points and set on the stop watch about what all things had been done and what to be done plays a significant and at times a dirty role ...so statistics mostly sucks.... but at times it is a necessary evil to make the other person realize that ' ,,,yaw ,,some thing need to be done ' intelligent people use it judiciously.... :-)

During my early adolescent years and before I became completely aware of the dire need of being honest, I had developed a very unique skill of lying dry. There is a general feeling that people tend avoid eye contact while lying,that was the exact point that I was specialized in ... to bluff while directly staring in to the iris of the person to whom you are talking . I could safely boast that at that moment even a humming bird couldn't call my bluff... :-). The fine and silky sooth art of deception...

Ya...To be honest all of us are liars....only difference is that some of us does that so beautifully after making sure that it have all the finite texture of an ultimate truth...all in the game... :) wat u say ,, uh ??

2007-11-01T00:11:00.000+01:00

Seconds that lasts a little bit longer than usual..

Today when I woke up it was 9 o clock in my watch. But when I logged in to my laptop after one hour I saw it is still 9 o clock. I was a little bit confused. The whole idea of frozen time was a nice & interesting concept as such to think about, but I was a bit hesitant to believe that it actually happened :-). Then suddenly the idea of day light saving struck me. It is October 28 and today I have got one hour extra in my life. It is one of a rare phenomenon where the precision of time is budging a bit to accommodate the necessity of human beings. (Or is it that we make ourselves believe so??)

I don't no whether you have ever experienced that in your life ; certain moments extending more than it is intended to be. Seconds that last more than a second!!!.

I had quite a few such moments in my life. it happens when you are parting with some one whom you really care about or one whom u know you are loosing for ever.itz then when u feel that time has got frozen and a deafening silence pervade all over .it is sought of stillness that run deep... real deep...acute stillness that penetrate in to your nerves and make you numb.

itz the emotions of the people involved ;that breathe life in to those frozen moments. It is the moment that you feel you are in the gateway to transcendence and you sincerely pray let clock stop ticking for ever. It is then when the words that you speak have got a space of infinity between them and those words would be suspended in the fine silk thread of your emotion and thoughts, having a mass much more than it is designed to be carrying, embllelished by the delicate flavour of love and longing. (You feel it is foolishness that you try to express your feelings through the medium of language. oh, my good god in heavens, what a mediocre medium the language is when it comes to the expression of our own feelings). Then one wink of an eyelid can express feelings that even a trillion words will fail to convey.

It is then when the silence will become eloquent and words become irrelevant. Then Silence and expanded time will catapult you in to a space where ordinary words can only point towards to. itz the defining moment ,when we really understand the significance of that person in our life. it is altogether a different dimension, where you confront the starkly truth and you suddenly realize the vacuum that it is going to be created in our life .Suddenly the clock will start ticking again, with an explosive effect and you will find yourself precariously positioned against the emotionless and cold face of time !!!! .

2007-07-01T18:31:00.001+02:00

Madly in love with the rain !

Monsoon is back, it rains beautifully in kerala now, and it is the place where the rain is born ! .

Now a days they are aggressively marketing and is well on the way of perfecting "monsoon tourism.". Kerala is naturally and uniquely poised to cash in on the heavenly phenomenon & the natural synergy between the monsoon and ayurveda is another added advantage. (Courtesy : Kerala tourism & Anita nair ) .

As the rains engross Kerala with that orthodox dose of sogginess n copiousness, I used to celebrate each drops of seasonal precipitations with much of a joy and freshness.

During my school dayz even though it was very much inconvenient during rainy season to commute , carrying heavy back packs and pretend to be attentive with moisture feeling in atmosphere, I always relished that sweet sound and rhythm of torrential rain impinging in to the roof top of class room.

During evenings after returning from school and while savoring in the evening snacks sitting in the wood plated half wall in front of my home I used to sincerely pray for rain. I used to close my eyes and try to concentrate in order find out whether there is any trace of that enigmatic murmur of emerging rain, it was a feeling that I used to rejoice. The energy, aplomb and at times the ferocity and luxuriance with which a rain sets in is unparalelled.it is indeed a remarkable feeling. It is the time when the heavens touch the earth. It is time when sky opens its mind and it is greenery all over after that.

I also used to cherish the feeling of swimming in the pond in my home's compound while it is raining cat’s n dogs. Especially when dusk is setting in and the mystery of darkness is prevailing in the other side of the pond. Darkness associated with a mystery is always a temptation that a human being can't resist; swimming to wards that mystery with savagery of a monsoon rain in the back ground was a sought of an addiction that I used to exert with a twinge of daunted sensation in the back drop of my mind.

During night when I watch the rain from my bed room at first floor, I could see the rain drops flowing down towards earth through the edges of coconut leaves n competing to each other, it was an immaculate sight. Again while sleeping ; the back ground music of night rain was a sought of catalyst for a peaceful and tight sleep , I simply adored that experience .The serenity and calmness of the night rain is always a beautiful feeling.

I always believed rain have a female gender. I think so since it have all the salient features of a so called complete women (wink...). It is exquisitely beautiful,itz graceful,itz mysterious, it is calm,itz serene, itz caring ,itz sophisticated ,itz internally strong yet gentle ,itz fresh and itz gorgeous, genuinely 100 % feminine !!!

I was always madly in love with the rain!!!.

2007-05-19T14:10:00.001+02:00

Gulmohar n Summer....
************************

It is may , sweltering heat of mumbai dust n crowd take the charm of summer out of you...but still there are certain things that hold you back and make you enjoy the beauty of summer...
tiresome n humid mumbai summer..

A fully blown gulmohar*** tree is one of them..
In my banyan park office now there are full blown gulmohar trees ..when we goes for daily routine walk after lunch inside the campus we could see full fully blown beautiful flames of fire...
They call it gulmohar, flame of the forest or flamboyant tree...for me it is a pleasant feeling that takes me back to my childhood dayz

summer vacations were also occasions of local festivals. I used to wait eagerly for the festival season as it was a time when all those cousins whom I used to meet only once in a year come together.....also by that time summer vacations would be about to finish.....so that sadness as well as the laziness to get back to the school would also in the back ground.. I used to pray let that festival never be complete...but again it will just remain as one among hundreds of my prayers; which goes unanswered..:-)

When I went home for a vacation last month...summer was approaching the end of itz tenure this year....red carpets in the shades of gulmohar trees had started to make distinct pattern

Be it in dadar,andheri or along the country side of valluvanadan land scape beside the railway line towards palakkad... cacased red marvel of gulmohar is always a feeling that brings freshness in to your mind.Provided there is at least some amount of compassionate attitude left in your mind,provided you can spare some seconds to open your eyes and look at the red carpet that nature have preserved for you....

*** Common name: Flame Tree, Royal Poinciana, Gulmohar
Discovered in the early 19th century in its native Madagascar by botanist Wensel Bojer, Gulmohar is a flamboyant tree in flower - some say the world's most colorful tree. For several weeks in spring and summer it is covered with exuberant clusters of flame-red flowers.

2007-05-05T20:29:00.000+02:00

Holding a piece of Time

Yesterday was b'day of my Bro's twins.... 2 yrs of struggle for him and sis-in-law..by gods grace both the kids are sound n safe......

they have grown up enough to call me uncle... ''uncle''; hearing that there are some mixed feelings evoked with in myself......of course happy to hear their sweet voices ....but it again remind me of the most accurate thing in this world.Time....It is flying like any thing... ..

I feel like to be there and be part of the events , b'day celebrations , marriages, get togetherz.. but as usual missing all those small small happiness as I wont be able get leave as and when required....itz fine ..all part of the game...

making and breaking of relations and healing of all the wounds..all part n parcel of this great journey called life.....but now a dayz..i have started thinking about the other side ..... in the quest of aiming @ professional excellence and a better tomorrow...is it that i am missing out my todayz ...quite thought provoking...I always believe in living life king size......over n again am i negating my self ??.....a small spark...some where it is there....
I always believed and still believes there should be a cause in your life...but what is my cause...I still couldn't identify..or is it that I have ,but I just cant take that final decision about my destiny.

...probably this confusion or rather state of mind where there is a lack of clarity existed right from the begining of human life.....it might be genetically encrypted....again all the these questions can be answered only by time...we might be able to derive it....but never will be able to define....

2007-05-01T21:51:00.000+02:00

sleeping patterns..

I was waiting for some thing through out the night..
gestating some thing...which I felt may turn around my life..
long hours made me wary..but I was sure about my intuitions ..
also the time i already spent waiting;compelled me to hang on for more time...

Time passed and the wait was inspiring horror..
I told my self,mate hold on , outcome is going to be excellent..
it was too late ....before I accredit that it is another dawn..
it was too late ..I recogonize that it was just another illusion...

wat stupid yaa..i lost one full night sleep !!!!!!...

2007-04-19T21:55:00.000+02:00

Not all rendezvous are interesting :

Yesterday I left office early as I had to pick up my friend/collegemate/class mate from Sahar airport. It was as usual a busy evening and andheri-kurla road was flooded with vehicles.Any way my rickshawala was smart enough to sneak thru the traffic and push our self in to the airport road..I was already late, he told me it will be around 6 pm but I calculated the check out time time and air traffic at mumbai air port and decided'' no way, before 8'' ok..fine my judgement was accurate enough...I got a call as soon as I entered airport road...he was asking "where the hell are you"...I replied "with in your reach babaeeee..."

I was meeting him after a gap of of one year...enough things/gosspis was there to be exchanged.well he was telling about his plight ..started from mexico almost 56 hrs before coverd full world...via madrid-dubai to mumbai..and he lost his baggages in transit...poor chap I thought..

after fresh up we thought we will just go out as he had some thing to shop.. we went to galleria and he wanted to buy a shoe..'stupid fellow ' coming from other part of the world to buy a shoe...I told him the same as well...he discarded my remark with utter disgust...so sad.. :-). As soon as he was about to enter in to loft ,,security stopped and told 'boss shop is closed' ,great ! I thought....

Suddenly i rememberd one thing...I am hungry !!! Ok, fine let us go to a restuarent, I suggested ...why not a resto bar , he counterd ..fair enough..I accepted.... it was not an easy task to convince one rickshaw wallah about the business opportunity he will get , if he take us to IIT main gate as it would be difficult for him to get one return trip from there...

I tried to negotiate with three, all failed!!...I told my friend ..you try..He started ...failed....good I thought..the body language of these guys when we ask them , are you willing to take us to a particualr place is so amusing you know...it will defenitely measure your patience to the core...it is as if he is doing you a favour ..for which he will think for a couple of minutes ..will not even look at our face and will keep their face a dead pan....you will repeat.. will you or not ?? he will slowly look at the opposite side then towards you then , if he nod....you may consider your self lucky......during this time consuming and stressful excercise I had many time spotted the area between their ear and neck ...I always find it very difficult to restrain myself from landing a tight fisted blow .....ttttttttttooooooooooooooooooo irritating mate.,.......

after some failed attempts we were able to get in to a rick....and it dumped us`in the troughs of IIT main gate area and we slided in to one of the restaurant/bar ..dim lighted atmosphere and we could manage to get in to one off the table in the corner and was about to sit....suddenly I was pulled 3 years back ..just opposite to our table I found our mechanical engineering professor...Meeting a former teacher might be an enlightening experience ...but not certainly in a bar....especially if the teacher recogonise you and you recognise him ....:-) , my friend was totally at sea..my self atleast was aware that he is doing his M.Tech in IIT , but my friend was having no clue....I mumbled some courtesy words....He responded some thing..I am sure he was also not ware what he had said....I could mangae to tell my friend......" dont waste time ..eject "......

we were again on the pavement....I told him.. "it is fine we will go to another restuareant near by"....as we were walking I heard my friend mumbling....'' No more teacher's from our college should be allowed to do his M.Tech...especially at mumbai IIT.....'' :-)

2007-04-13T20:27:00.000+02:00

"You have got a new mail" !!

During my +2 & college days I was very much happy each time to see a new mail message in my inbox ,when ever I open my mailcity or us.net account (both either extinct or now might be in new awatars) . I used to get frequent mails from my friends. Before the dawn of e-mail era,I used to write frequent mails to my friends ( No man.. not just love letters !!) and e-mails was a great invention as far i was concerned due to itz swiftness .Even though messenger was as sophistcated as ever i always had the habbit of relying on the legacy of letters and its digitalized versions.There were many letters which i used to kept in my inbox even though the space constraint was there ( 1 GB was not even there in the wildest of dreams then !! ).

That is history..now bit of biting reality...now a dayz I really can't express the feeling when I get a new mail message notification in my lotus notes inbox.That black IBM 19" monster ( monitor.. i meant :-) ) , which could pop up that most demoralising message for me now a days , you know what it is ?? ," you have got a new mail" :-) , Am I sounding in low ebb of my confidence...no yarr... not really...but it is a fact...I hate to accept but it is a reality man....it sucks man; to the core. You may be wondering why..in that case you are lucky since you might not be working in an atmosphere that i am working.In that case you also might not be directly exposed to the most dangerous venom spitting mails.

You might have seen some videos of frustrated people breaking key boarding and throwing away the CPU's. I also used to think that they are all just another funny videos.no mate...they are not ...by all probability they all could be real, now... I am 100 % convinced !!!!....

2006-11-06T11:41:00.001+01:00

2006-11-06T11:27:00.001+01:00

The Making of a relation & the hour glass impact .............

Have you ever thought how a casual meeting or just a hello will lead to a life long friend ship/relationship ..which will become an integral part of our life ???

I used to think what make people attract to each other..be it in any relation other than blood relation ..say between two friends ,between colluges...ya between lovers.....No one know the exact chemistry of a successful relation isn't it....ya,if there is any proven theory or tried and tested method then how easy it would have been isn't it..... :)

As they say ...'As you sow ,so shall you reap'....they way in which you interact and respond to the stimuli of the other person may be the deciding factor...:) ....Many a time i had felt that you should play the role of an amplifier and a selective black hole alternatively and as time demands in your relations.......that you should absorb all the negative vibes with out responding and reflect all the positive vibes with an amplified effect.....sounds bit technical right....umm... relations are also not that easy to define isn't it..:)

is it that it has been some where already written ya decided who all should meet and who all shouldn't ? May be or may be not ..But I strongly feels that if you are destined to meet you will...if not how can I explain those relations which begin as just a casual 'hi ' started to make long lasting impact in your life.....to that extent that it started influencing the way in which you interact with others or even the way in which you think....

Those are the relations which dosen't have a classification .....which you can never ever define a boundary condition...and you value it that much even after acknowledging the fact that you are bound to loose it,you keep it close to your heart despite knowing that each and every second you try to hold it close to you ,like enbracing a cactus plant it bleeds you....but still you find the solace thinking that ....even in the most arid desert cactus survives........and that is the beauty of it.......

When thinking about the fate of such relations which you are bound to loose due to the precision of the ultimate truth 'time' ....I wonder how an Hour glass will be feeling when the sand starts to tickle down through itz narrow bottle neck......

ya,some where deep inside your mind you starts to prepare your self to hear those words ..........' Time is up'...........:)

2006-10-14T20:00:00.000+02:00

Missing links...........

Staying away from home, my beloved ones and my roots.....it is not at all an easy thing for me..I feel not for any one else as well....well there can be exceptions..but still i feel majority will agrees with me.

When I decided to leave my first company I thought I will be joining a company in south so that I can go home frequently ,I will get more time to spend with my ageing parents.But all in vein ..I joined TCS mumbai and again the same story continues....I dont regret but I do miss my family at times....I miss my father and mother, I know they miss me too.....

Last time when I was returning back after my last vaccation as ususal a day before mom started speaking less , I could read that mind ... She might be thinking that after I goes it is same routine again she and my father all alone...ya my sis comes on week ends but still they deserve more comfort and sense of belonging in the evening of their life ..... amma ... I am aware of that , I also at times think about going back .. but carrer oriented side of my brain says..'binu, stay back for some more time , It will be good for you'......It is the time when brain takes the control and heart is all submissive ...But my heart wont give in so easily,it keep on reminding my brain ,'dude you are missing many things....take care of that before it is too late for you'........this messages flashes in so frequently; especially when I see two drops of trears in my fathers eyes when he see me off, when I grab my bro's kids and realise they have increased their weight and they are growing up....when I call up and my mom says ,'You know marraige of you cousin has been fixed'.......when my brother tell me thru fone' father is not feeling well, I have taken him for a check up'.............Then suddenly that feeling of lonliness will showers in to me like a mansoon rain................but I try to convince my self......'Itz ok dude......every thing will be fine....Just hang on...' After all life is some thing that changes its appearence in the way in which you perceive it...

2006-10-01T07:19:00.000+02:00

alone........

i woke up into the graveyard of my past ...
abandoned by my ancient enemies....
cant figure out where i am from .....
cant trace out where the rest of lipstic in my cheek belong.....

shivering cold and suffocating smell of my my purid love
drives me crazy round the clock....
makes me feel unwanted ...buried me in this ultimate solitude ...

I have lost my track... I lost it completely....

At times I feel ..lonliness is the greatest fear of man kind....since the time of orgin of man kind we try to live in groups........ reasons may be diferent for love,for comfort,for food,for reproduction ..ultimately for survival...!!!!!!!

2006-09-10T15:20:00.000+02:00

'Shanthi se boliye'

I wake up late today....Late lazy sunday morning........first thought that came to my mind was that...oh...saturday is over....today is sunday..in that half the day is over and tommorrow monday ...noooooooooo.... agian back to office.......

Well !! any way you can't run way from the reality dude .. i thought.. anaz had prepared a nice tea ..i had that....was looking for news paper.....nothing intersting was there in mathrubhoomi (malayalm daily) well i turned towards Hindustan times .....outbrust of emotions of Malegaon's residents captured the top head lines....... Felt bad reading that .........when will we be secure in our country.....any time any where a bomb can claim your life ...first class passengers are also no exceptions .....recent mumbai blast confirmed the same..........'bombs explodes not only compartments of train but also compartments of social status' i thought ... black humor isnt it ????....

"Shanti se boliye" this was response of Sonia Gandhi towards the emotional out brust of a father who lost his son....Can a father be peaceful and rational with in hours of his son's cremeation ? Ms.Gandhi can answer this question better .....What was she feeling when she was travelling to Sriperumbathur couple of years back after her husband was killed in a LTTE planned blast ?

Well !!!! I respect Sonia Gandhi... but with all due respect I feel that she could have done better...... It is an open secret that she controls UPA government.....She could definitely make the life of indians more easy,does she do that?? I don't now.. may be she is trying but our system is so designed that it is rare that a oneman show can make a diffference ( Yes...people like T.N.Sheshan , Kiron Bedi have done it after independence but still..)

Shafique Ahamed ,father of a murderd son informed the politicians that if at all there was more hospitals and other basic essential infrastructure over there many more lives could have saved.....as usual they promised this will be considered....do you think that will be done ? :) we know the answer for that isn't it .....we have been seeing this for decades.......disgusting !!!!!!!!!

Who is responsible ? .......... I am pointing a fingure ......I am seeing that four fingures are pointed towards me too............Isn't that I am also respnsible for this .....Yeah....I definitely have better things to do in week ends......probably you also have .......think...!!!

2006-03-18T11:40:00.000+01:00

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen....

First sentence in a book or first scene in a filim set the mood for the rest isn't it? may be because of that all of them first ones are the most critical.. as they say first impression is the.........:))

well !! when I also decided to start my own blog even I was thinking of a dramatic ,intriguing and stylish first sentence.... I was confused should i make it long/short ? Should i go right into a dialogue or should i save one? ;or should i start with classic ones like.....It was a dark and stormy night or It was a day like any other or Once upon a time there lived a prince. .
I was royally confused .. I thought a lot ..well what could be that???? but ..... i couldn't find any...

Any way all these things flashed thru my mind when i saw an article on the ' best opening sentences in fiction '.... I have looped some of them for those people who are intersted...

The telephone rang, and she knew she was going to die.— Arturo Perez-Reverte, The Queen of the South

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice ---One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.”—Anthony Burgess, Earthly Powers (1980).

“I planned my death carefully; unlike my life, which meandered along from one thing to another, despite myfeeble attempts to control it.” Margaret Atwood’s Lady Oracle

“The hull of the submarine was lashed to the huge pilings, a behemoth strapped in silhoutte, the sweeping lines of its bow arcing into the light of the North Sea dawn”. The Holcroft Covenant Robert Ludlum

“The afternoon sun baked down on Yemen’s port city of Oman, as twenty-four men gathered in a traditional ceremonial tent”. Sand Storm-Steve Clackson .

The problem is credibility.”–Ron Carlson, “Bigfoot Stole My Wife”

“S. Levin, formerly a drunkard, after a long and tiring transcontinental journey, got off the train at Marathon, Cascadia, towards evening of the last Sunday in August, 1950.”- Bernard Malamud, A New Life

“The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.”Vladimir Nabokov, Speak Memory.

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.--1984 by George Orwell
Windows on the World,’ by Frederic Beigbeder: “You know how it ends: Everybody dies.”

2006-03-18T10:35:00.000+01:00

Online Schools

2006-03-12T11:36:00.000+01:00

Rain in Summer........

It rained in mumbai last week as a bliss admist hot n humid whether...... I was about to leave to office .... the sound of water falling in the window panes suddenly changed my mood..... guyz.. i love rain.....

also when i was in bus there were school children in that with their heavy back pack... i was curiously watching at them.... as if i was searching for my self in them.... mate.... i really miss my school days.....

but those dayz i used to pray.. God... please dont rain during day time since it will interrupt the cricket we were eagerly playing during lunch intervels and free periods.... but ofcourse i like night rains .... sound of water drops falling on the roof tops is one of the sweetest voice for me in this world.... I love night rains.... they are sooooo.. beautiful.... to watch rain from my room upstaires was really an enchanting experience . The view of water drops pouring in and basking in the light from the gate lamp was indeed a unique combination. Along with this the sound of rain in back ground always used to make it a perfect picture. Even though it might be raining outside cooling effect was happening inside the mind...

There were numerous occasions when i used to wakeup during midnights or early mornings hearing the noice of rain pouring in and i used to pull a chair near the window and keep on watching at the rain ........

But in mumbai rain have got a different character altogther it seems.... it keeps on changing .......may be because it dont have enough freedom to pour in admist the concrete jungles or may be because mumbaikars have forgotten to appreciate rain n they think it as a disturbance to their busy schedule........
Also night rains in mumbai might have got the same story tell.... it might not get a chance to pour in when city sleeps... since mumbai sleeps rather late and very briefly.

2006-03-12T10:17:00.000+01:00

Being Mr.Sudhakaran........................................

"My father is a Super Man" Ya... that was my impression about him since the time i have started memorising things...

when I was a small child I used to see him only during that casual leaves ......I thought why ?? ..... later i came to know that he is an army man..... working in Armed medical corps..
The picture I have got in my mind as a child about my father is he wearing a white shirt sitting in the courtyard in the evening smoking scissors .( He later quit smoking by taking last puffs right infront of me sayng that ''baba, see these are last ,I am quitting smoking. I thought c'on dad itz not going to work.... itz not easy to give up a habbit ur pursing for last 40 yrs in just one day...but oh boy!!! i was terribly wrong . He never smoked after that..)

... I still remember my mother praying in the evening during sandyadeepam when she came to know that he was transferred to Punjab... it was in mid 80's .... I was too small to know who terrorists are... but the severity n seriousness in my amma's prayer made me feel that a terrorist is some one who has got the attitude n looks of raksha's in Ramand sagar's Ramayana !!!!!.....

After returning from army ... i was in my 3rd standard he went to gulf for next 11 years ... and after that for last 7 years he is happily settled in my home taking care of farm,paddy feild n 3-4 cows we have got...... ... my father rise early and milk the cows ,feed them... he is 65 now ... still he carries that orderliness ,discipline in all the things he do..some thing which i try but never able to accomplish.

(do u know guyz ... i felt these characters to be quite unnecessary when i was in my school days.... but later i started recognising that he is damn right and the feeling that he can neverbe wrong is so deep rooted in my mind now.......the experience he have gained through years can never be substituted by any thing........ how ever better qualified be am than him...... these are certain tit bits of information that will slowly sink in to your mind as you grow older...)

I feel that our older generation had a hell lot of experience in their life .... which is awsome.... my father when he is in his prime mood used to tell.... his experience .....his schooling..... daily 5 kms of walk to school n back followed by his sister (my aunt) .... days when it will be raining cat n dogs and all those small brooks n river overflowing ...... those stormy evenings and flood .... the difficulties he had faced being from a big family with agricultural background with lot of paddy feilds and a hill full of coconut trees ,pepper n arecanut... his adventures in school n later army...

(he is not that sort of guy who boast that ''I am a soldier who have seen three wars'' n all...
may be because me n my sister thwarts any such plan right in the bud...when amma is away from home itz he cooks food for us.. and we used to pay back our thanks by saying that '' dad you cooks so well it seems u were a cook in army"!!! (any of those chefs reading this pls dont get offended i personally feels that it is a wonderful job.... )

he is an ordinary human being who criticize you when u r wasting something,he dont know to drive,struggle to reply when some one speak to him in english,wont understand when i talk to him about hardaware n software ....But he is a guy with heart full of warmth.... and with hell lot of experience and a right attitude ... an attitude u need to be a good human being..... and i always used to feel I will be a real acheiver when I am able to reach to his levels of emotional quotient , balanced thinking and honesty.....And he has got a unique style n sense of humor which surfaces only occassionally..... but at that time he is the best...

So when some one address me as 'Mr.Sudhakaran' esp in office or when i call up customercare,I really feel proud....that for me is much more valuable than any other certificate........ the feeling that i am born to a father who is a gentle man.......

2006-03-12T08:07:00.000+01:00

Indian Ocean,NMIMS n More... (Julie ann moore) ......

Music .. all of us love that isn't it??? well atleast most of us..

yesterday there was a live concert of Indian Ocean Band at NMIMS .. it was Dindu who arranged the ticket n all.... so we thought fine letz us..after all itz a saturday evening... it worth going for an outing..... so me with my friends charted the schedule..... ( u r supposed to pronounce it as skedule.. . as those people return from US after a short stint over there...)\\

We went to JUHU beach ,it looks so refreshed like a beautiful lady just out of a sauna bath.....

I was surprised... it was clean .. my last visit to the beach had left a very bad impression about the place ... so messy yarr.......full of plastic bags n all those garbages.....beach was looking like raped....
but this time it was quite tidy... and also there was lot of waste baskets planted all over..
I always feel that waste baskets are some thing that India need a lot... also I even saw some BMC workers who clean the beach .... Felt good yarr.... i hope this practise will continue...
later some one told me that there was a high court order for the cleaning up of JUHU...
Long Live the courts....

yesterday beach was not that crowded... Actually during weekends it is.... Mumbai has got an acute lack of free n open places... one of the many problems related to mumbai...
we had Pav Bhaji from one of the stall over there watching sunset....... Pav Bhaji is some thing which i relates to vidya.... she is one of my best friend...... happily settled in b'lore with her hubby..... Pav Bhaji is her favourite..... First when i had it ,well i didnt find it that interesting ,but slowly i started liking it ... just like i started loving mumbai...... ya.... i was not a great fan of mumbai when i left pune to mumbai after my training.... will keep that story for some other day...

watching sunset in a beach is always some thing which is so special for me...... I feel serene... happy n satisfied....... after that we left for NMIMS.....

concert was good..... voice of the guyz who sang was not that great but l instruments was awsome .... music was good..... some very good numbers in guitar....

also i saw a beautiful lady who looks like Julie ann moore.... (Julie ann moore is my favourite..) well that lady's face floated in my mind for quite a long time........ with shoulder length jet black hair ,n wearing white top and full length striped skirt and above all with that graceful body language she was looking awsome.... damn gorgeous yarr...

I always used to think why girls are looking this attractive ??? It is not just their beauty that makes people turn their heads....it include the way in which they conduct themselves,the way in which they carry their attitude.....their overall persona..... I pesonally feel that a girl needn't have to be beautiful if she is to be attractive.... it is some thing else... that USP may contain all of the points I have stated above and may be much more..... hope fully I will understand that some day.............

It was around 12 'o' clock when i returned..... any way i slept happily with the satisfaction of having enjoyed a beautiful evening........

2006-03-03T17:07:00.000+01:00

March comes....Beware the ides of March ****

ya..... Sheksphere said so .... it is sure that there are some importance to march in every ones life..... well atleast in my life ........

well ......it was in a march i appreared for my 10 th exams.... end of school dayz as well as all the fun associated with it....... my God !!!!! i simply dont want to move on... grow up........ all my friends..... cricket....... football... some of those very interesting classes...(esp. malayalam classes by sridharan sir)... and of course gurlz of st.theresas convent ( BTB I studied in a boyz high school and st.theresas convent is a girls school near to ours..) how much sad it was??? i felt that it is end of the world.... .... but how ever tight you hold on time,it moves on; most of the time taking you with it....... even i wasn't an exception.....

Also it was in a march i joined my first company... SYNTEL.. Again as a surprise .. another mechanical engineer joining IT bandwagon......... but i dont have any lost feelings ...IT is a decent place to work ,atleast i feel so... even though life always stores a mystery round the corner and take you by a total surprise..... it always leaves back a lead 4 you to move on,,,,

this march also i am waiting for some thing good n significant to happen in my life...

***** For all those people who wonder about What are the "ides of March"?...some history...

In the ancient Roman calendar the "ides" was the fifteenth day of March, May, July, and October, and the thirteenth day of the other months. On March 15, 44 BC, Gaius Julius Caesar was assassinated by conspirators in the Senate House in Rome. In Shakespeare's play, Caesar passes through a public square and hears someone shout his name. Hushing the crowd, he asks the voice to speak again. A soothsayer comes into view and warns Caesar to "Beware the ides of March", but, unfortunately, Caesar ignores his premonition: "He is a dreamer; let us leave him: pass" ........ guyz sometimes things we leave out thinking as unimportant turnz out to be the most important thing... and the person who recogonise those important nitty gritty things takes the cake.......

2006-02-18T11:34:00.000+01:00

shopperz never stop... n one BHK is not enough...

well itz saturday evening ..... me shut inside the room since i don have a company to go out........was planning to goto shoppers stop along with jimmy (his orginal name is manish... but his grand father had a gymasium.... so we call him LOVINGLY as jimmy....gross!!!! isn't it ???.)

Last week also we had gone to pantaloons' sale at lower parel with siju n anaz... (again my roomies so u will be asking totalayy how many people stay here ...it dependtz .... actually two more are there one unnimon kamithu...(it is komath.. he used to correct us but we never learn..)..... and another fellow called dindu.... (he claims to be in NMIMS pursuing his first year pgdm.... but we were always in doubt......havent really seen him studying...... but still managezzz...)

actually i am the seniormost person in my room...(rocking in mumbai since june 2004 ..stupid fellow...) and this dindu n anaz are the juniormost.... well can say they are in probation.......so just like in ship ; all low level work belong to themmm...... no..no.... nothing as bad... just like making cofE/T n all... but dindu will not even do that he used to find excuses like as itz US bombing in Iraq he may not be able to make a cup of cofee...!!!!! and usally get away with that also.....

infact dindu n anaz are my juniors form GEC thrissur..... and caught me here in mumbai also... mujhe geene nahin doonga..... stupid fellows .......

well!!! ''think tank'' of our room siju has gone home (kerala..)....... i called him think tank not because he is an intellect ( actually i used to wonder at times whether he has got a head above his shoulder or not..!!!) but itz only thinking he used to do through out a day.....and only that...
still that begger earns more than 5 lakh per annum....... exasperating.....(i can write any thing about him since he will not be back before next wednesday....... so that time is enough for the character assasination.........)

well itz time to go out with jimmy.... you know some thing when i goes for these type of reduction sales i goes with the mentality of a dacoit ..... and but all those unecessary things that i buy serves nothing more than the purpose of garbage....and my friends used ask whehter i bought my brains (if at all there is any) also in reduction sales or what!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-18T01:50:00.000+01:00

The woods are lovely, dark and deep .......

I was not very good in memorising physics & maths formuleas and chemistry equations during my school days , and the case of poems were also not much different,always managed to loose marks in poems since ,at times in examination paper I used to add my on version ,rather my own interpretation to Shaksphere and all.

But there were certain poems which I studied ,memorised and got inspired with great enthusiasam ,some thing which I recited with loads of affection and passion......

One of them, infact my most favourite is the one by Robert Frost.... yeah... Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening...... particularly those last lines "And miles to go before I sleep" had inspired me a lot when I studied for my entrance exams as well as my engineering exams .

( especially when I studies to clear my back papers !!!! during the intervel between third and fourth sememsters.. at that time those lines conceived and conceptualized much heavier meaning than even Robert Frost might have imagined !!!!!! :)....

any way I have just copied that poem here for those people who just want to refresh it and for myself ,to read when I feel like going through it once again....

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Written by: Robert Frost Published:1923

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep

- Robert Frost

2006-02-18T00:06:00.000+01:00

There are certain things in your life that you will be nostalgic about..... when i was Surfing through others blogs i saw one site which contains pictures of full blown mango trees... mangoes were always some thing special for me ....... it directly relates me to vishu n my mother .......

she prepare vishukani ...and will wake me up... eyes closed and first thing you should see that day is the fully decorated view of vishukani with all the gods n godess in the pujaroom and along with gold coins ,jack fruit ,mangoes ,mirror and kannikonna flowers ( golden shower flowers (cassia fistula as my sister who has studied botany in her degree classes say:) and many other ingredients which include ada ( it is a sought of sweet prepared using rice powder n jaggery) in the presence of nilavilakku.....

well after getting job l am missing all these things .. i feel like going home this summer !!! dont know will get leave n all but certainly it is a temptation that worth trying .......

2006-02-17T23:04:00.000+01:00

4word.....>>

guyz ,girlz n fellow human beings ( well!! that dosen't meant that guyz n girlz dosen't belong to category of human beings or I dont belong to the category of both... it was added just for the pupose of decoration...)

don't get deceived by the title...maya in the title is neither my girl friend nor is she central part of the story....... I was just stating an age old cliche which is general part of all ours life and as important as the equation E = MCsquare... (no..no.. no need to bend your eyebrows I just couldn't figure it out how can i write 'to the square of' using MSWORD.... suggestions are invited and bid is open for all)

This blog is some thing which I had in my mind for long time ... to start one and write things which I feel like chucking out....But in my case most of the time ideas remains just as ideas with out disturbing any one ....by this june i will be two years old in mumbai and if i took a stock of the situation there is nothing much i have done in past 2 years other than coding in blue/green n red letters in mainframe screen,gaining 8 kgs and hah... a 4 wheeler driving licence i took last year.... ( you guyz might be thinking why this stupid fellow didnt took licence till 25 yr old and half bald.... friends only explanation i hvegot is that ''itz always the society that give birth to criminals :))So finally during this wee hours of saturday... i suddenly decided well time has come to waste precious time of netizens by bombarding them with my write ups.

I am not sure whether I will find some readers to read all these crap things but i am determined that some how i will register some hits by buying my friends cutting chai n persuading them using all my coaxing skills to read these things.....

personal details

2006-02-17T21:34:00.000+01:00

Name : Binu Sudhakaran
Location : Mumbai
Job : Mainframe Professional ,TCS Mumbai